In my last post, I shared exciting news about DD (we’ve already started looking at venues! It IS exciting!) but I also mentioned the emotional roller coaster.
Monday, it was just DH, the dog and me and a very dreary day. The clouds got to me, I felt the quietness of the house after all the chaos of the two days before, and well, the tears came and went all day. Again, it probably has a lot to do with menopause but knowing that doesn’t make it any easier.
I felt BIG feelings for a day or two, really BIG. I was also overly tired. I haven’t been sleeping very well. I don’t understand how wearing a mask that forces air into you while being in a tangle of tubing is supposed to help you get better sleep… It boggles the mind. And then with everyone coming in, we stayed up late visiting the first night, not so much the second because I was so tired from not having slept well, and all the excitement of the day.
Exhaustion can definitely play a huge part in the emotional roller coaster. DH was a trooper. Poor guy, had no idea what to say or do, not that there was anything to say or do, but he was there and he was kind and that was probably the most important thing.
This menopause thing is no joke and it’s really not talked about enough, though it’s definitely getting better, but even though it’s something that I did learn about somewhat with and from my mom, you just can’t be prepared! You definitely can’t stop it! But hopefully you can recognize it. But even then, even though you recognize it, it’s like being outside of yourself, wanting to help, to make it better, to make it stop, but you can’t. There’s just no control there! It’s miserable even in the midst of wonderful things.
I had been feeling pretty good last week, with lots of walks and just an overall feeling of contentment but then it rained and we got busy and the walks stopped. So this morning, it was lovely out, nice and cool with sunshine and so I made myself get up, get ready, and just GO. It was a nice walk. The dog drives me nuts, but he loves to go, and honestly, I love to make him happy. We did have a really neat moment.
As we passed by this tree with the sun streaming down, I noticed a tiny white feather floating down to the ground with the sun halo-ing it. It was surreal, and beautiful, and it took my breath away. I whispered a thank you in awe, as we passed and then just stopped and suddenly wanted/needed a photo of it there floating in the air. I grabbed my phone, turned around and it was gone. No where to be found.
I guess it was just meant to be a private moment between me and spirit. A divine reminder that everything is okay, will be okay. Perhaps a message from an angel, that I’m not alone. Or all of the above and more. I felt it a blessing and one I’ll hold close for awhile.
The rest of the walk was uneventful but lovely. It was good to move, to be in the sun, to surround myself in nature. It gave something back to me, something I needed. I need to make myself walk, rain or shine, cool, cold, or hot. These walks are a balm to my soul. So this is a reminder that I can come back to that says, “Sherri! Get up out of your chair and get out that door!” And if you need that reminder, it’s here for you too.
Until next time… ♥️
Simply Sherri 
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