For The Birds

Once again, let me just say, this empty nest thing… it’s for the birds.  I’m over it.  Time for a recall!  I need my kids to move home.  Oh, they don’t have to live with me, or even live in the same town!  My dream would be within an or two so that I could make day trips to see them but I’d settle for no more than 3 or 4 hours.  They could leave to come see us on Friday after work and head back on Sunday afternoon.  Of course, not every weekend, unless they wanted to of course!

I just want, no I actually NEED, more time with them!

When my oldest, DS, was little I kept thinking, who’s stupid idea was it that at 3 or 4 years old our children needed to be separated from us for a few hours?  And then at 5, they were to ripped from our arms for the entire day?? Why did we think someone else was better able to teach and care for our children than their own mother?  Never did make sense to me.  Honestly, thinking back, I think I felt this way as a child too!!

I know I moved away from home and don’t get home very often either, and I actually hate that…  That’s the military life, I guess… at least an enlisted military life.  We never had the money to go home very often and I hated it!  I was always so homesick.  I eventually got used to it but I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this feeling that comes with an empty nest, with not seeing my kids every month.

It won’t be long, and DS and his wife will move even further away, and I will miss so much!  I already have and it breaks my heart.

I still have dreams of DD moving a little closer, but I want her to follow her dream and live it!  I don’t want to hold them back; I want their happiness and joy in life more than anything.  I just need to be independently wealthy so that I can afford to go to see them whenever I want and be able to FLY so I’m not spending 10+ hours in the car.  Makes weekend trips barely worth it.  8 to 10+ hours in the car a day, maybe two, if I’m lucky, with them and then back in the car for another 8 to 10+ hours home.

And then trying to split my time between them!!  Murder, that Is what it is.  How do you choose?  I see DD more often because she has performances and well, she’s alone.  DS has DIL but I want to see them too!!

Working on Sunday’s makes it hard to see either of them.  Sunday is DD’s only day off so it’s pointless to drive to see her during the week unless like this week, it’s spring break.  She doesn’t usually get home until almost 9pm and she leaves in the morning around 8am, so yeah, it would be pointless unless she was off.  DS?  I’d get a couple of hours in the evening for dinner before bed and maybe see him for lunch.

I know, I know, I’m having a little pity party. Want to join me?  LOL, I’m actually at DD’s now.  We are having a wonderful time, but I hate to leave her again!  We have so much fun together.  I’ll head to DS’s tomorrow and see them before I head home for church on Sunday.

I have a beautiful life. I love my life and the people in it. I just miss my kids.  A LOT.  I know I’m not alone in this.  I know I’m no different than any other mother out there.  I just like to write my feelings out and share them with the world… if that’s not crazy I don’t know what is.

Hold your babies while you can!!  Shower them with every bit of love you can.  Spend time with them.  Make memories!  You’ll blink one day and then they will be moving out and starting lives of their own and you will be so proud and happy for them and a just a tiny bit sad too for the space they leave empty until the next visit.