My morning 2 cents worth…

Good morning!  I know! I can’t believe I’m back either. 😂 

I bought these cards a long time ago and forgot about them and found them yesterday as I was unpacking.  I set them out on the table to try to remember to use them and this morning, I did!

As I read this, I had thoughts…

It says “Forgive them.”  I think sometimes there is a misunderstanding on what “forgive them” really means. 

Forgiveness isn’t for them, it’s for you. Forgiveness is about letting go of the hurt and anger.  

BUT and this is a BIG BUT…

It does not mean you have to let them back in your life.

Remember the old saying, “Fool me once, shame on you, Fool for me twice, shame on me.” 

It applies here. I’m not saying that as you forgive you someone, you CAN’T let them back in.  

You know, sometimes things happen that we need to forgive and forget.  It’s okay to still be friends, but when there’s a history of the same hurt over and over… maybe it’s time to forgive and move on.

Again, forgiveness is about letting go of hurt and anger so that it doesn’t continue to hurt you, darken and harden your heart.  Forgiveness is letting the light back in, not the abuse. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve let the same people hurt me over and over for years because I thought that was what forgiveness was about but I’ve since learned that’s not true. 

It’s okay, to say “I forgive you but no more.  I’m not going to let you continue to hurt me.  I’m not going to continue to let you turn my life upside down.”  It’s okay to say, “I’m done. I love you, I forgive you, but I’m done.”

Now the second part of this card said, “Forgive myself”… 

A few years ago, DD was listening to a podcast or something where they were talking about forgiving yourself and she asked me what I needed to forgive myself for and without skipping a beat I gave her a list.  She was shocked that I was so quick about it and honestly, so was I.

And some of it had to do with the “Forgive them” above… I need to forgive myself for letting people hurt me over and over.  I need to forgive myself for not loving myself enough to say no more, for not speaking up for myself when someone was/is doing me wrong. This applies to my kids too… meaning that sometimes I had my kids forgive in a way that let people hurt them over and over. That’s one of my greatest regrets.

There’s a lot more but you get the idea. For me they are both connected.  

So often, I hear, “you need to forgive them.” And often what people really mean, is let them back in.  People mistake taking care of myself, my mental health, my family as the opposite of forgiveness but sometimes, oftentimes, it’s part of it and that’s okay.

Forgiveness isn’t tied to continuing the relationship at all.  Forgiveness is releasing the hurt and anger so that it no longer hurts me but also, when needed, loving myself enough to recognize patterns and say no more.  I love you, I wish you well, but I’m done.

So, there, that’s my little 2 cents worth of thoughts this morning.

Until next time… ♥️