The Journey Begins

Six years ago, my journey toward an empty nest began.  Yes, you read that right.  I started worrying about an empty nest when my first child went away to college… 45 minutes down the road.  Yes, you read that right too… just 45 minutes.

I was freaked out!  What would I do with no kids at home?  I had not only been a stay at home mom but also a homeschooling mom and my kids are my world!  They are my best friends!  Oh, yeah, I’d still have my husband but you know…  lol  Plus, my other child was only 13 and in the 8th grade!!  I still had 5 years to go!! Yes, my nest wouldn’t empty for 5 more years!!

Four years later, my son married and commissioned into the army and moved away for reals.  He was happy though and I love his sweet wife and though it was hard… soooooooo hard to tell them bye, I did.  I am so proud of them both!  They are doing great things on their own life journey and I love hearing all about it and going to visit them when we are able and having them visit us they are able.  It’s never often enough, of course.

Now, 6, yes 6 years after my son left for college, my daughter is moving out and now, I’m really starting to freak out.  Let me tell you about it.

About 6 months ago, my daughter auditioned for a summer intensive in hopes of getting a trainee position.  We were thinking positive, really working to manifest it into reality.  It made me a bit nervous because it’s 10.5 hours away but I figured I’d worry about that when the time came.

She was getting excited, I was getting excited!  I was excited for her to have this opportunity and quite honestly, I was getting excited at the prospect of it just being DH (darling husband) and me.  Dinner out will be cheaper, the movies would be cheaper!  Our schedules would be ours and we wouldn’t have to worry about working around her schedule.  I was excited!

Now, I was scared about her being so far away and sad that I wouldn’t have her to hang out with all the time, but I know that she is ready.  It’s always hard to say goodbye. I’m not a huge fan of change either.

And then something awful happened… our dog began going downhill FAST.  He was 13 years old and so two and half weeks before it’s time for DD (darling daughter) to move out, while she and I were out of town, he passed away.  I had been counting on him to be here for me during this change.  He’d always been there for me.  During deployments, moves, deaths and my emptying nest.  So… now I’m really freaking out!  Everything I do reminds me of him.  I find myself looking for him, or calling to him.  So, I have to say goodbye to two of my babies just weeks apart.

Needless to say, I’m going downhill fast.

We’ve rented the apartment, we’ve gathered furniture and kitchen items, we’ve begun the packing and yes, I’ve begun the crying… yes, 2 weeks out, I’m already crying often.  Honestly, it began about a week or more ago.  Don’t judge me.  I’m so proud of my girl, I’m excited for her!  Heck, I’m excited for me and DH!  But, yes, I’m weepy too.  I’m going to miss this girl more than words can say.

 

So, this little blog is going to be my outlet, my journal, my therapy as I learn to live with an empty nest.  I’m sure it will be filled with tears and laughter as DH and I embark on a whole new life of our own!  Join me on this adventure and share yours with me too!

You can read my girl’s journey here on her blog, Susan in the city.