“Does Anybody Have A Map?”

white and black map
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I’m not driving today but the musicals are still playing in my mind.  This morning it is still one from Dear Evan Hansen.  This is also sung by the mom, well, this one is sung by both moms.  Does Anybody Have A Map is one of my favorites.  I totally relate!

Does anybody have a map?
Anybody maybe happen to know how the hell to do this?
I don’t know if you can tell
But this is me just pretending to know.

So where’s the map?
I need a clue
Cause the scary truth is
I’m flying blind
And I’m making this up as I go.

Yes, I completely relate to that, in so many aspects of my life.  From parenting to marriage to my work in the church!  Really… just life in general!

I make it all up as I go!  And yeah… sometimes… it’s really scary.

Letting go of the kids was a bit like this for me.  I’m not so sure I did it right with the first but by the time the second was ready I was a little better.  It’s all a learning process.  Unfortunately, the first kid is the practice model.  They are who you learn on and boy did I learn a lot from him!

Now, this new relationship with my kids as grown-ups is tough too!  I want to talk to them every day!  I miss them!  But I’m trying to let them have their own lives…

but at the same time, I want them to know I care and I miss them!

But I don’t want to get on their nerves or make them think that I’m getting in their business.

I feel like I’m walking a tight rope sometimes!  (That’s another song from a musical but that’s a different post.)

And then you have the whole boys are SO different from girls thing!  DD calls several times a day – at least two.  I’m lucky to hear from DS once a week.  It’s not that he doesn’t want to talk to me or that he doesn’t love me anymore, it’s just that he’s super busy.  I try to call him but because I know how busy he is I worry about bothering him.  Yep, it’s a slippery slope.

Sometimes I think this grown-up relationship is harder than when they were little!  or even teens!  So when I hear this song, I always think, “Yeah!  Where’s the map?  I need a clue!”

I really thought it’d be easier when they were grown up.  They’d be eager to share stories of their life with me continually.  Of course, I also thought they might live closer to home… What was I thinking?  LOL

I’m so proud of my kids and what they are doing with their lives.  They are living their dreams.  They are succeeding at life!  Job well done, Mom!

At least I hope they think that.  I hope they know I’m their biggest fan.  I hope they know how very much I love and miss them, that I think of them every single day, all day, every day.

I guess the map isn’t really necessary.  I mean we already have it, I think, written on our hearts.  Oh, it’s not marked super clearly and we have to backtrack here and there and we sometimes make wrong turns too but our love for our children is our map.  So…

Does anybody have a map they want to share on navigating these grown-up relationships with our kids?  Does anybody else feel like this at every stage of life?

2 thoughts on ““Does Anybody Have A Map?”

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  1. I feel what you are saying! Parenting our adult kids is hard. I tend to let them give me directions rather than looking at(for) the hidden(hoped for) map. They do tend to often ask if they should go right or left and I normally try to let them know what I see in each direction and then they decide which direction to go. It has been an interesting last few years. They have passed some amazing landmarks that I have been privileged to experience with them, but they have also hit a few pot holes which they have traveled, very successfully, thru. God has blessed us both with amazing kiddos! I can only imagine the mountains and valleys they traverse!

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    1. Yes, very true and I completely agree with them giving us directions and such. I’m learning to be a great listener. Still working on holding my tongue. I guess I’m more looking for a map about how often is ok to reach out and how best to do that. LOL That part shouldn’t be so hard and I probably just worry too much. 🙂

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