So this isn’t my new year’s post… I don’t think, that will come later. For now, I want to talk about boys, sons. They are different.
My first born was my son. He and I were inseparable. His dad, DH, was gone A LOT so it was often just the two of us. We were the best of friends. As he grew up, it of course changed a bit, but we always talked, we always laughed, hugged and so on. We homeschooled together. At first it was just the two of us. DH was deployed and DD wanted to stay in school. We had a blast! We explored, we laughed, we cried, we screamed but it was an amazing journey and those are some of my favorite memories.
Then he became a teen and he started distancing himself a bit. That’s normal. I missed him but loved watching him find his way and explore life on his own. I remember just before he left for college… he was standing in the doorway of the kitchen and he turned to me and said, “Mom! I’m really your best friend aren’t I?” “Yep.” And he was. Then he went to college. The calls seldom came but I went out there often to take him to lunch and hear his stories. They warmed my heart. Those were again, such fun times.
Then he graduated, commissioned, and got married all in two weeks. I couldn’t have been more proud! What a blessing to watch his life blossom right before my eyes. But then he moved away… his life kept him busy – college had done that too but I still got to see him – this was different. He was trailblazing through his life and had/has little time for his mom.
For a long time it hurt a bit, I was sad and lost. I loved all his accomplishments but felt left out. I know it’s silly and a bit selfish of me but it’s the truth. I missed him so much it hurt. He had been my world all by himself for 5 years and then he and his sister were my world together. We were a team! It was hard figuring out life with him at such a distance but I’ve been figuring it out slowly.
I’ve learned patience, I’ve learned to speak up. See, boys are different. DD is easy. She calls constantly, she is always here even when she’s not here through texts, phone calls… but boys are different. I know they are because I watched DH do all this same stuff with his mom when we first got married. I talked to her more than he did and would remind him it had been two weeks since he’d called his mom. So I got it, I understood. I remembered but it still made me sad.
Over the last year though… I’ve started getting random texts and phone calls. My heart soared! Sometimes I’d even cry with joy after we hung up. He’s started sharing memories of his youth and my heart melted. He remembered! Of course he did but it was nice to hear the smile in that memory.
Then… yesterday… we got our Christmas box from them… We had hoped to be together but you know COVID… we all waited till the last minute to mail the boxes and theirs to us was delayed so we got it just in time for New Year’s and it couldn’t have been more perfect! Let me show you what they got me.
The note is just as much a part of the gift. “I remember you taking us all those places as kids to go hiking and that we all really enjoyed that.” ME TOO!! ME TOO!! And thank you for saying that!! This made my year!!
What a gift! The gift of memories, of making new memories, of health and adventure, of LOVE. This was a perfect gift from him to me. And my precious daughter in love too!! I love them both beyond measure.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!
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